October 21, 2008

Tip # 09 - Don't make this Mistake


Well here is Mats experience.Read it.

"I was looking for women to date. Actually I was looking for the ideal woman, someone I could spend some time with and perhaps even develop a meaningful relationship.

At the time I enjoyed going to art gallery openings. It was a great venue to meet girls. There were finger foods, hors d'oeuvres, wine and/or champagne and sometimes beer, all free. And professional women and women of class liked to attend gallery openings where the work of an artist was on display. So what's not to like?

There were three or four gallery openings every month in the Los Angeles/Beverly Hills area and when I could I would attend. They usually started about 6 P.M. so women would come after work and, like me, enjoy free food and beverages while pretending to be interested in the art on display. It was fun!

I was wandering around a gallery on La Cienega Avenue and spotted a fantastic looking woman with another. I approached and asked something like, "What impresses you most about this artist?"

Now she had no idea who I was. For all she knew I might even be the artist whose work was on display.

She gave me some answer, which led me to another comment. We introduced ourselves-her name was Darcy-and before I knew it we were in a conversation. And I felt, from her body language and attitude Darcy was very comfortable talking with me.

Her girlfriend, seeing we were in a conversation, walked away leaving us to ourselves talking. I suggested I was interrupting her tour of the gallery and she said, "Oh no, I'm enjoying talking with you."

BINGO! She was definitely displaying a high level of interest.

We talked about what we each did, I was in television and she was a musician with the Los Angeles Symphony Orchestra.

When her girlfriend came back I excused myself saying, "I'll let you two check out some more of the art and maybe I'll see you before you leave."

That was a very good move on my part because I knew she liked me and I removed myself.

Remember, it's not how much I like her that's important. What's MOST important is how much she likes me.

I immediately represented a challenge to her as I walked away.

But I kept watching her from across the gallery out of the corner of my eye. I approached her briefly about 15 minutes later and asked if she'd found a favorite piece of art yet. "Still looking" she replied. I kept moving and kept my eye on her, once seeing that she was also watching me.

When I sensed Darcy and her friend might be getting ready to leave I approached her and said, "Nice meeting you. I'm going to get going. Maybe I'll see you at another opening sometime."

She responded with "Aren't you going to ask for my phone number?"

Do you see what happened? Wow, it was great! I was jumping out of my skin. "Oh sure" I said. "What is your number?"

She replied, "You weren't even going to ask were you?" I said, "Well, I thought you might be involved with someone."

"I'm not, do you have a pen? I'll give you my number."

"I don't have a pen, but I'll remember it."

Now she really thought I wasn't interested and was blowing her off. This was probably very disconcerting because she was a real knockout and probably never experienced a guy talking to her and not hitting on her.

She looked at me with doubt in her eyes. "No really, tell me your number and I will remember it. I promise", I said.

She gave me her number, I repeated it and said goodnight. She said "Call me!"

As I left the gallery I was repeating the number over and over in my head so I wouldn't forget it. I ran to my car, grabbed a pen and wrote it down. I was ecstatic! (by the way, it pays to always carry a pen)

I drove home very excited about calling this beautiful woman who was very interested in me. I had done everything right.

I got home, poured myself a glass of wine and then, estimating how long it would take her to get home, made a HUGE mistake.

I called the beautiful Darcy.

She answered and was very surprised I called saying something like, "I didn't think you would call, certainly not so soon."

I told her I enjoyed talking with her and was looking forward to seeing her again sometime. She said she'd like to know more about me and kept the conversation going.

Well who doesn't like talking about themselves?

But doing that, this early in the game is the worst thing you can do, and I did it.

She asked me a couple of questions; Where are you from? How did you get into your business? Where is your family? Etc.

I started blabbing about me and forgot about asking more about her.

I forgot to let her do most of the talking. I forgot that women love it when you listen to them instead of talking about you.

My ego had me believing my story was sooooo very interesting that she would be dazzled by what she heard. It turned out to be a two-hour phone call and about 90-minutes into it Darcy stopped listening and began telling me what was wrong with me.

She had been listening and analyzing me and everything I said, drawing conclusions that she thought were true.

Now remember, she doesn't know me. We only had small chit-chat at the gallery and then our 90-minute call on the phone where I spilled my guts about stuff that she seemed interested in.

I mean I really blabbed, talking about my childhood, my tough times, my good times, etc., completely removing any mystery about Matt.

By the end of that long phone call, Darcy said "Please don't ever call me again."


In a matter of a few short hours I had taken it from "Call me", to "Don't ever call me again".

And I did it all by myself by breaking two very important rules:

1. Wait 4-9 days before calling. (I didn't)

2. When you first meet, use the phone only to make a date, not to get to know someone. (I didn't)

Not only that, I relinquished control and I was no longer a challenge.

I was just some guy who was too eager and too interested in telling her about me. Now I was just like every other guy she ever met, a jerk.

After she gave me her number, and insisting I take it, I completely blew it with the beautiful Darcy. But, I was cool and thought I might be able to save it.

I waited two days and called her, getting her voicemail. I didn't leave a message, but the next day I called again and this time I got her.

I apologized for running off at the mouth the other night and suggested we should get together for a drink sometime. "I don't think so", she said. "It would never work, goodbye."

And that was the last time I spoke to Darcy. Needles to say, I learned a lot that week.

I hope you've learned from my mistakes

Method Tip # 9

Wait 4 - 9 nine days before calling --
Don't talk on the phone, don't just talk about yourself - show interest in HER



Guys - Fatal Phone Mistakes


You are here because one of these applies to you.
Which one is it?

You've been dumped.
Your wife divorced you.
You're tired of women who lie.
You're tired of women who are takers and not givers.
You're looking for the woman of your dreams.
You want to know how to find a great woman.
You want to date more women - more often.
You want to meet your perfect woman and get married.
You've spent too much money on bad dates.
She won't return your call.
You're getting back to the dating scene and you don't know where to start.
You don't want to get burned again.
You've lost your confidence.
You feel the dating world is a jungle.
She broke your heart.
You want to change your luck with women.
You're lonely.

All very good reasons to be here and, believe it or not, Matt's Method can solve EVERY ONE of those problems

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