October 20, 2008

10 Ways To Get The Women You Want

Number 10
Conquer the fear of approaching women

The first thing you need to get under control is comfort when approaching women. You need to get to the point where you can walk up to a woman and start talking to her without turning into an emotional basket case. If you're freaked out on the inside, it's going to be pretty hard for you to act "normal" on the outside. And it's going to be even harder to try new things and use techniques that you're learning if you're uptight. The best thing you can do is go out and start conversations with about 50 women over the next week or two. If you're too nervous to converse, just give a compliment and walk away. Say "Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I think you're beautiful. Have a great day," and walk away.

Number 9
Once you’re in, don’t back down

Once you can keep your cool and compliment a woman, try keeping eye contact with the woman while you're saying it. After that, try pausing for three seconds before you say the word "beautiful" -- while keeping eye contact. If you can do this, you'll have women stop you and try to talk to you as you're walking away. When you can do this comfortably, try asking her a few casual questions to start a conversation. Ask her if she lives in the area or if she's visiting. Ask her what her name is -- simple stuff. At this point you'll be ready to use the three minute e-mail/phone number technique, and ask for her e-mail.

Number 8
Don’t show your cards too soon

Let’s say you’re in class -- it could be a university class or a yoga class at your local gym or whatever. Go sit next to the girl you’re interested in and do your best to ignore her for most of the class. Pretend she’s not even there. Don't look at her, talk to her, etc. If she says anything to you during the class or asks you a question, answer it in a disinterested voice and don't look at her. She’ll be wondering why you’re not looking over at her and this sets you up for what comes next.

Number 7
Tease her, then get her number

Then, as the class is coming to an end, turn to her and look her in the eyes and say, "So is it true what they say about redheads (or blondes, or brunettes)?" in a cool, calm way -- maybe with one eyebrow raised. She'll say "What do they say?" Then you answer, "Well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you," and give her a sly smile, as if you know something that she doesn't. Then say, "What's your name?" After getting her name say, "I have to run after class; do you have an e-mail address? Maybe we can grab a Starbucks sometime." Then hand her your cell phone as if you fully expect her to enter her info.

Number 6
Remember how important “inner game” is

I get a lot of e-mail from guys who are athletes, bodybuilders, naturally handsome, etc. that all say the same thing -- if you don't have the right attitude, understanding and skills, then looks alone are almost useless. On the other hand, if you have the attitude, understanding and skills, then looks aren't that important. So, focus on deepening your integrity and your understanding of women, and do something every day to step out of your comfort zone. You’ll get the rock-solid “inner game” that women find irresistible.

Number 5
Do you want a “Total 10”?

A “Total 10” is a woman who’s beautiful inside and out -- she’s hot, intelligent, emotionally mature, and knows who she is. If this is the kind of women you want, you're probably not going to meet her at a bar, a club or a strip club. Go check out some self-improvement classes or the gym or a yoga class. Start asking the questions that women usually ask at first like, "Are your parents still married?" "How was your childhood?" "Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?" I know it sounds a little backward, but you should probably start asking these questions at the very beginning, when you first meet a girl. This will save you a lot of time in the long run. And remember, there are no perfectly healthy people running around on this rock called Earth.

Number 4
Decide if you want to play the field or not

One of the most important things you need to do is decide what you want for yourself. If you want to date different women, then do it. If you want to be exclusive, then do it. However, make sure you're making the decision based on what you want for your life. Second, if you want to date more than one woman at a time and the woman you're dating says she wants to be exclusive with you, then you need to accept that she might leave if you date other women. Deal with it. Too many guys cringe and say, "Oh, but I can't lose this girl. I'll do whatever she wants." This is a bad move of course. When you decide to put aside what you want for your life because you're trying to please someone else, trouble usually isn't far down the road.

Number 3
Learn to set up an “open” relationship

If you do decide that you want to date different women, you might say: "I think that it's a big mistake for two people to get into a relationship so fast. Most relationships that end badly end because the people got involved too quickly and because they didn't know each other at all. I like spending time with you, but I'm not interested in talking about having an exclusive relationship with you until I've known you longer." Be strong. It's worth it.

Number 2
Start off with a bang

If you start off the interaction with a woman in the right way, you'll form a "first impression" that will cause her to see anything you do from then on in the context of the attractive attitude with which you began. I personally think it's a good idea if you keep up the Cocky & Funny attitude, easing off as you start having more and more conversation. Don't stop entirely, because at some point you'll begin to lose the magnetic challenge that worked for you in the first place. This is another reminder that once a woman thinks of you in a particular way, she's likely to think of you in that way for a long time. And if you start out by acting like a Wussy, she's going to assume that you will always act like one before she turns to run.

Number 1
Take your game to the next level

The most important thing you can do to get the women you want is to continually improve yourself. Learn from every interaction you have. Ask yourself if you’re coming from a place of confidence or a place of insecurity. Are you having fun and enjoying your conversations with women or are you getting uptight and serious? Invest in yourself -- get coaching from guys who are great with women and your skills will improve almost on “autopilot.” If you don’t invest in yourself and “sharpen your saw,” your results will never improve. Don’t let that happen.

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