October 10, 2008

How to Talk to Any Woman You Encounter on the Street

One of the most challenging things for men in the dating scene is approaching women on the street. Like any learned skill the more you practice approaching women the better you will get. So the easy solution in learning how to talk to women on the street is to simply approach more of them.

But this is not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes you might be walking in one direction and she is walking opposite and toward you. It can be very awkward because she's going one way and you're going the other way so it's not very natural to just walk up and say something. Or is it?

The reality is that you can approach anyone, anywhere, and virtually at any time. The biggest obstacle to talking to women on the street is between your left ear and your right ear. If someone ever told me that they could never approach a woman on the street I would simply ask them "who taught you to think that way?"

Okay, let's get to the nitty-gritty. It is very important when you approach a woman on the street that you approach from an angle so she can see you. If you come from her blind spot then make sure you say "excuse me" or "pardon me".

This way she will know that you're there and she won't turn around and smack you with her purse. Some dating coaches will advise you to pretend and ask for directions, but most women can sniff out phoniness better than a trained dog sniffing for illegal drugs. It's just not the best approach.

What's far more effective is approaching naturally and communicating that you both have a short period of time and that you may never see one another again. A great way to break the ice is to simply say "excuse me" and then say, "Gosh, you look like you're in a hurry to get somewhere." And she'll respond accordingly. You can also say something like, "Y'know, normally I'd walk up to a pretty woman like you and invite you for some great conversation and some drinks, but I'm running late for a meeting. Since we'll probably never see one another again, let me ask you, do you have e-mail?"

So what you can do from there to simply pick out a pen and paper or your cell phone and asked her what her e-mail address is. You might get a little resistance at first because she doesn't know you.

But you can her assure her that you will send her an e-mail with a funny story and if she doesn't like it then you to do not have to meet for drinks. Once she gives you her e-mail address it is for important that you do not wait too long to e-mail her otherwise she will forget who you are. So what you should do is either send her an e-mail later that night or the next day.

So what do you send her? Send her a funny story. You can go to any news website or entertainment website and find at least one or two interesting stories in the news. You can highlight it and then you can copy it, paste it, and then send it to her. Now imagine on one weekend if you spent the whole day just accumulating e-mail addresses. The chances of you getting a date out of those e-mails increases substantially. Most men are too afraid to do this because they lack the confidence and they only lack the confidence because they don't practice enough. So, what's stopping you from practicing right now?

Here are a few things that I've come up with:

1) Most attractive women are BORED OUT OF THEIR MINDS by most men. One of the reasons for this is that guys have NO IDEA what to do when they run into an attractive woman, so they do the same default thing: Dumb look, compliment.

2) As I've said before, and I'm sure I'll say many many many times in the future: You can't BORE a woman into feeling attracted to you. If she's most likely got a boring life like everyone else, and you do something that every one of the other 499 guys she's going to walk by this month did, then you're probably not going to attract any special attention.

3) If you just start with the idea of NOT DOING WHAT OTHER GUYS DO you will be WAAAAYYYY ahead of the game.

Wow, this is fun, isn't it? Bet you never thought you'd be thinking like a woman, did ya?

So what are a few things you might do to:

1) Not be like the other 499 boring, predictable, "nice" loser guys she encountered.

2) Be interesting, attractive, attention-getting in a way that makes her feel like you might actually be someone to provide her with a pinch of spice for her life?

I thought you'd never ask...

And, as you may have already predicted, I have a few ideas of my own (but don't let that stop you from thinking about this on your own as often as you get a chance).

To start with, you'd probably want to get rid of the "Wow, you're a beautiful woman, and I'm just an average guy admiring you" vibe. That's not helping.

Next, you could take a moment and think about how a guy that she would feel ATTRACTED to might act... then choose that style.

My experience is that if you take an attitude of "I guess fate has good taste putting us in the same place, now let's see if you have a personality to match your looks", then stir in a generous portion of Cocky and Funny, you're likely to do well.

Here's a variation of something I've used myself once or twice.

YOU: "Hey, can I ask you a quick question?" [leaning back and playing it cool, talking cool and slow]

HER: "Sure"

[pause pause pause for suspense]

YOU: "Are you single?" [stone cold straight face]

HER: "Well, um..."

YOU: "I'll take that as a yes..." [nodding, sly smile]

HER: [Laugher]

YOU: "Well, I just happen to know someone that I think might really like you... if you're more than just a pretty face, that is... He's funny, has great taste, and I think you'd like him... I'd love to sit down and get your life story, but I'm on my way somewhere... do you have email?" [very cool, calm tone of voice]

HER: "Yes."

YOU: Great... [takes out pen]... write it down for me, and I'll have, uh [clears throat] HIM send you an email."

[Get email and wish the lady a good day.]

Now, let's talk about what just happened here.

First off, did I give her any compliments? Did I act like the other 499 guys? Did I instantly communicate that "I'm not worthy"?


I said "Hey, can I ask you a quick question?" in a very laid-back, almost too-relaxed and mysterious tone of voice.

Anyone will respond to that with a "yes".

Next, I did something kind of fun: I asked her DIRECTLY if she was single.

LOL... I really love this one. It's so fun. Most guys will say "Uh, I'll bet you have a boyfriend, huh?" or "So do you have a man?" or some other lame thing.

The question "Are you single?" takes women off guard. It's great. And then being assumptive when she hesitated with an answer... in a cocky/funny way... magic.

Next I followed up with a cocky, funny, semi-confusing little bit about "knowing someone" that might find her interesting. Now, she might think that it's really ME, but she won't know FOR SURE until she gets the email.

And even then you might play with her a bit... "So, what did you think of my friend? I think he might like you..." etc.

The point is, I can pretty much guarantee you that this particular sequence hasn't happened to her lately.

She's still trying to overcome her sheer awe about how many guys in a row can ask "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

This kind of fun approach will be a welcome breath of fresh air.
Now, I want you to do something. Go back and READ IT AGAIN... VERY CAREFULLY. Imagine it happening exactly like it's written. Try to imagine it in a few different settings. Work on it until you can clearly see it happening in your mind's eye. (The reason I can see it clearly is because I've done it so many times in real life!)

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